Wednesday, October 12

Love over-rated

Just recently one of my close friend broke up with her boyfriend - turns out he was cheating on her - and since then she hasn't stopped crying. Now she is a perfectly healthy girl, but ever since the break up she hasn't been outside her room, she doesn't socialize with people and the minute you even mention love or other similar words, she starts crying.

So last night after one of our you-are-too-good-for-him crying sessions I was telling her to move on when she said she feels so heartbroken, she can't function properly and it got me thinking about love and the power people give to this lone emotion.

I am always mystified with the idea that love is the only all consuming emotion there ever is. The reaction of people who have just broken up, my friend included, is example enough. There are so many other relationships- friendship, parents, motherhood - yet you never hear casualties created because someone argued with his best friend or parents or mother. You just hear plenty of he/she killed herself because of a failed relationship - that is the most extreme scenario. But even in a normal breakup,most girls are so heartbroken after a relationship, they almost turn into vegetables and boys are even worst, drinking and throwing their life away because the girl of his dream does not reciprocate these same feelings.So I wonder what is it about love that makes the person so miserable he/she is willing to throw away an otherwise perfectly healthy life? 

Yes, a few good heart-to-heart is good for any person - it takes the load off. Crying for a good measure of time is also good, frees your heart of ill-fated emotions and well, clears your eyes off dusts. But to be crying continuously, like it wasn't a boyfriend you broke up with but your whole life is just plain dumb. And to throw away the prospects of a normally healthy life because one single relationship did not work out is even dumber. It is just a relationship that ended, not your life, so why waste away your whole day on a relationship that could not even withstand a simple hurdle.

Love is not suppose to make you so weak that you feel you can not exisit beyond it. That is not love, that is attachment, desperation, the terror of being lonely, name it anything you like but it is not love. And by the way, your heart is a muscle, it can not break. If it did, you would actually be dead instead of complaining you feel dead inside. I have never been a romantic person. The notion of a Prince charming is too tacky for me, if I see a couple holding hands, the first thought that enters my mind is sexual, and even with the 'love of my life', my idea of a happily ever-after is a few good years at best. Sure, I believe there is an intense emotion that makes you feel like you can not like anyone else as much as you do a particular person, but that is just that for me - an intense emotion - not my whole life ready to unravel if that person doesn't like me back. And if falling in love is going to make me a quivering mass of hysterical jello, then I don't want to fall in love.


  1. Nice one. Truly said...

  2. Self consolation is the only way left- to hate 'love'...

  3. Thank you Langa :)

    Miss Norfe, Very true, God knows we have seen enough :)

  4. May be there are many filtering processes people have to go through before they get totally purified and immune. if there were no pain, people would never appreciate joy!
    Yet, it has always been the greatest weakness of humankind that we give-in too easily, too much of the amount, too quickly before we are drained. only if we could realize that we can not change everything but can only be the change that we want to see, life would be so much less complicated. Personally, my so called 'heartbreak' has given me two qualities: It has made me a better judge of the truth and it has made be a better lover to my future partner, for, I realize how painful it would be to a person if he suddenly realized that all he has been calling 'love' for 5 years was nothing but a beautiful, colourful BETRAYAL!

  5. Hi Maid of Astolat, I love this post, especially the last paragraph. It's very nicely written and true :)

    And Gopi, I love your sentence too, 'if there were no pain, people would never appreciate joy' and your definition of the greatest weakness of human kind is superb! :)